When Every Day Feels the Same..

The other day, I got my weekly flowers from a store I had never been in. It was across the street from a great Vietnamese restaurant I get takeaway from. As I was standing in line with plants in hand, I was pondering the sameness of one day to the next in our current times. As most of Europe is on some form of lockdown with all but essential businesses closed, borders closed, and all but essential travel limited, each day can really feel like a rerun of the Truman Show. I admit I have never seen this movie, but the basic premise I can understand and feel. Each day we go to bed and it is one day where our basic work and personal schedule was the same and we wake up to a new day that looks and feels exactly like the last. Like it’s Monday.. or is it Tuesday.. every.damn.day.

As a person who craves routines not only to keep my body healthy and my business successfully spinning, I love keeping to regular schedules. When our basic daily rhythms are automated and aligned with nature (daylight and night and seasonal) we feel better. More connected - to ourselves and Nature. And less likely to leave things that need to happen - like getting enough sleep, proper winding down/decompression time, as well as winding up/energy building time, eating well - to chance, whim or “when we have the time/energy/desire.” When we keep to a basic work rhythm of working on our most intense and focused tasks when we have the most focus (called Pitta in Ayurveda), break down tasks into smaller workable pieces, and structure in free time/play in between work projects, things get done. More efficiently, so there is more time for non-work things like relationships, hobbies and passion projects.

All that said, at times, routines can feel like prison rather than freedom. Remember those days when we could hop on a train/plane/car and get to any European city painlessly and easily in a few hours? Or your old diary filled with meetings with friends, hair appointments and yoga classes? In the olden days, the average person had about 12 social interactions a day. Now some of us are lucky if we see one person we know at the supermarket. We may eat the same things in the same room. See the same people (or lack of people) every day, go to the same grocery store every day/week and even take the exact same route when we manage to leave the house. Our worlds have become very small. And it is a real challenge to live in an expansive way when our world seems to get more and more restricted.

So what to do in these crazy lockdown times where we forget which day it is? How do we stick to routines that keep us healthy and sane, while not falling into a rut we can’t get out of?

While I wouldn’t pretend to be an expert on thriving in global pandemics, I have observed a few things. We need variety to thrive. This is called SPANDA in Ayurveda. It is translated roughly as “to move a little.” It means that while it may be great to eat a green-filled salad with a bit of healthy fat and protein, we don’t really want to eat the same damn salad with the exact same ingredients every day. It’s great to run or practice yoga, but not every day and not at the same speed and pace. Variety is indeed the spice of life.

According to Dr. Gabija Toleikyte, neuroscientist and author of the book Why the F*ck Can’t I Change?,(which is btw, the best.book.title.EVER), when we experience a new situation, our brain secretes dopamine which increases feelings of pleasure and motivation in anticipation of a reward. When this anticipation is gone, we instead experience ‘dopamine desensitization’. No matter how much we like doing something, our pleasure in doing decreases each time we do it. The law of diminishing returns.

But wait.. There is good news. Even the smallest ways you mix up your daily routines pay major dividends and can have a big impact on your brain. According to clinical psychologist Roberta Babb, something as simple as buying yourself flowers to put next to your desk/kitchen table/Zoom room can add an element of spontaneity to your day and have a surprisingly uplifting effect on your mood.

Want to add a little variety but not sure where to begin?

Think about your daily routines that could use a little sprucing up. If it’s exercise, you can create exercise flash cards. Write down exercises that you already do with those you have been wanting to try. Throw them in a hat/bowl/jar and pick one every day. Even the anticipation of doing something that you indeed wrote down and chose is enough to light up your pleasure centers because you are not anticipating that activity all day. :) You could also do the same for social activities. A spontaneous dance party or Zumba class could be the small bit of spice you can add which makes a big difference in your mental health. If it is food, sign up for a produce delivery service that throws in seasonal herbs and fruits/veggies that you would normally never by. Or get takeaway and have your partner order for you so you don’t get the same dish you always get. It’s the little things that we’ve got these days. :)

While it may seem like we live in a bubble of restrictions these days, we probably also know that freedom is a state of mind. We had beautiful times with friends, out at restaurants, traveling around the world and swimming in the ocean in the past. And they will come again. Change is the essence of life and all living things are subject to it. So this time will change and eventually end. If we can recall the positives of the past, and realize that nothing lasts forever and there is something beyond the time we are in now, we can stay more positive in the present. Even if the present has elements that suck. ;) It’s just beyond the horizon.. do you see it? I’m waving at you.

Hang in there lovelies. Stay strong and connected. And stay tuned. I am taking a break from teaching public classes to focus more on private teaching and coaching. In lieu of that, I am creating some free content for y’all. So do check my instagram or facebook accounts to stay in the loop.