rebels guide to non-gift-buying ;)
I made my boyfriend an Advents Calendar this Christmas. These are BIG here in Germany. While Advents Calendars are usually store-bought chocolate-a-day countdowns until the big day, I decided to make my own, and stuff it with thoughtful little gifts. 24 to be exact. I didn’t want to buy him useless gifts that he would just throw away or feel obligated to keep just because I gave it to him, so I had to think about what he, and many of us, really want and need.
In the words of one of my favorite Christmas movies (guess which one?), the things we most need, of course, don’t come from a store. We can’t buy ourselves happiness, contentment, a healthy body or nice relationships. We can’t buy meaningful conversations or connection we all desire. We can’t buy ourselves quiet time or time to do absolutely nothing.
So what can we give the people we love that matches what they really want?
Here are a few ideas I came up with (omitting of course the Advents gifts my sweetie hasn’t opened yet, since he reads this.. ;)):
Experiences. My sweetie knows I am obsessed with Christmas, so he gave me a weekend of visiting all of the best Christmas markets in the area (there are even some in CASTLES! How cool is that?!? ). Lots of my yoga students or spouses of my yoga students have bought my retreats or private yoga or Ayurveda sessions for a friend/spouse/partner. Great idea! Of course I am biased, but these often feel like splurges, and buying your sweetie, kid, or friend something that may feel like a bit of a stretch for them to buy themselves is kinda the best idea IMO.
Handmade stuff. For me, the point of gifting is to tell a person that I spent time thinking of how I care about them. Making things by hand says that. You literally took your time to make something with your own hands you thought they would like. Like to cook? Make a special fancy holiday dinner. Crafty? My family has always loved my hand-knitted scarves. It started when I was in college and couldn’t afford to buy them anything special, but they so liked them that I continued the tradition even when I could afford it. You could also gift framed photos you made, DIY stuff for their homes or spaces, soaps or candles, massage oils with yummy essential oils.. Ideas abound! Is healthy living your thing? How about handmade Golden Milk mixes in cool glass jars? I am obsessed with Golden Milk before bed or any time I am craving something warm and sweet that won’t keep me awake and wired.
Time. If you ask most of us what we desire most, or feel that we lack most, on a daily, weekly or monthly basis, time may be the #1 thing. Seem like a weird or impossible thing to gift someone for Christmas? Not really. Got a family? Gift your partner an hour/night/weekend off from child care. Time they can fill with whatever they damn well want. It will be much appreciated by them, and costs you nothing monetarily. Got kids or a sweetie? It’s easy to get stuck in the daily grind of work, home, family, etc. A great gift is a date night or special day for just the 2 of you. They choose the activity. Way more considerate and fun than another damn sweater/toy/scarf.. no?
What of your time could you offer? In other words, what are you good at? I gifted my sweetie a private yoga session and a 30 minute massage, among other unmentionables. How about you? What are you good at? Gift that thing!!
Does stress seem to steal your health and sanity? Did you know that meditation and mindfulness, while taking time to practice, actually gives you time back? A private coaching client who is also a top executive swears that her 10 minute morning meditation practice gives her literally hours of time in efficiency. The 5, 10 or 15 minutes you commit to a morning meditation practice allows the mind to reorganize itself. You will probably realize you are worrying about 20 or more things at once that you have to do today, many of which, when you give it space, you realize you don’t actually have to do. Meditation is basically like spring cleaning for your mind. Once the space is clear, it will feel really clear what you should do next. There are also spaces between the mental muck and mire where you feel real, genuine, happiness and contentment. Meditation is the closest thing I can think of to buying happiness. How to turn this into a gift (for others or you? There are loads of good apps out there that will lead you from day to day. I like Waking Up and Headspace. Meditation apps, programs or retreats are also things that many of us know we would like to try, but it feels hard to sign up for ourselves. Help your loved one to take the leap. They, and you, will benefit. :)
Happy holidays lovelies. Enjoy your gifting and merry-making. Visit my events and coaching sections on my website for fabulous experience (non-gift-buying) ideas. WAAY cooler than another perfume/sweater/pair of gloves.
Lots of love,
Kari